.....THE VEGETARIANISM ESSAY

Your essay is due on 15th February. Produce 500-600 words using the essay plan below.
Write in elegant, witty, careful and persuasive English.
As this is the twenty-first century, and as we have no business cutting down trees,
I'd much rather you e-mailed me your work -- click on the link at the bottom of this page.
(or use this address richard@richardmajor.com)






Vegetarianism is the moral future of mankind


Introduction: Vegetarianism would be the future of our race. It's supported by every argument moral, economical, ethical and economic
1. Proven to be healthier
2. Meat caused pollution: If everyone ate one chicken less a day it would be like half a billion the cars in America being off the roads.
3. Mass production cruel and horrible: cubical cages, debeaking and so forth.

Conclusion: Animals are living things like us, killing and eating humans is all right too!




Vegetarianism is not the moral future of mankind


Introduction: killing animals is thought to be immoral; but where are the borders of the moral and immoral?

1. Why would be it immoral to get food?
2. Killing animals can be civilised
3. Meat is a source of specific nutrients, which wd otherwise have to be supplied by tablets
4. Why isn't it immoral to eat plants?
Conclusion: We do not know all of the bad impacts of becoming vegetarian, but even the ones mentioned are enough!





.....HOW NOT TO WRITE AN OPENING SENTENCE

Why does the first sentence matter so much?

Here are six really awful ways to begin an essay.
The question is fun, and invites all sorts of pleasant showing-off.
WHY DID BAKED BEANS BECOME SO POPULAR IN TWENTIETH CENTURY BRITAIN?
But we have some fearsomely dreary ways of beginning.

“The question of why baked beans have become so popular in twentieth century Britain is an interesting…”

“The Oxford English Dictionary defines ‘baked beans’ as…”

“In this essay I will explore the question of why baked beans have become so popular in twentieth…”

“The Penguin English Dictionary defines ‘popular’ as…”

“The twentieth century went on for quite a while and…”

“The Collins English Dictionary defines ‘twentieth century’ as…”


Why exactly are these each so awful as opening sentences?

Produce something far far better.



Why exactly are these each so awful as opening sentences? Because they do no work. They are a waste of ink and paper. They exhaust the reader's patience.

NEVER start by saying
.....In this essay ....
.....I am going to discuss ....
or otherwise tell the reader of an essay that he is a reader, and is reading an essay;
NEVER repeat the question (a parrot can be trained to repeat questions; and parrots never pass exams).



.....HOW NOT TO WRITE AN ESSAY


Below is an example of a terrible, terrible, terrible essay.

Almost everything that can go wrong in essay-writing has gone wrong here.



.....ARE EARTHQUAKES WORSE THAN WARS?

Many millions of people have died in wars in the last hundred/two hundred years but thousands or maybe millions die in earthquakes all the time so it’s kind of a hard question.
.....I mean it’s way bad to die in any fashion, so the important thing is whether you are more likely to get killed in an earthquake or in a war.
.....Sometimes you’re more likely to get killed in an earthquake than in a war, but then in other ages/times you’re more likely to get killed in a war than in an earthquake.
.....Nowadays you’re more likely to get killed in an earthquake than in a war, but that’s only in Europe and America and places like that. In Africa you’re more likely to get killed in a war, and I guess they don’t get earthquakes down there much.
.....Another thing to think about is how immoral wars are. I don’t think you can say that earthquakes are immoral, except if they’re deliberately caused, but I guess they’re not yet because we don’t know how, but if we do know how to and then do it, then that would be totally immoral and maybe worse than wars.
.....But anyway, accidental earthquakes even if they kill lots of people are sort of killing them naturally so that is sad but not bad in an immoral way.
.....But another point that could be made is that in wars it is soldiers who get killed and they have training and bullet-proof vests and things so it is more fair and in earthquakes no one has any training so that is not as fair.
.....However we can get training about surviving earthquakes and it’s very very important that we attend to this training if we get it.
.....Also it’s important to remember that there are earthquakes in parts of Africa sometimes, such as Algeria and/or Morocco. That is not a point addressed in the question which I think is kind of racist and the people that set it must be full of hatred or something.
.....I feel really angry about racism, but also about earthquakes and wars, although with earthquakes I ask myself Who is there to be angry with? which is a truly deep question. But my feelings about it are strong anyway.
.....My conclusion is that it would be better not to have either earthquakes or wars happen to me, or even maybe not to anyone, but I don’t have much control over them because earthquakes are natural and wars aren’t natural but decided by other people, whereas I am just writing this essay and I only have control over that.





Here is a guide from my university days which you may find interesting.



Every redundant word drags down the effectiveness of an essay.
.......The single most important stage in fashioningg an excellent essay is going through the text and cutting away every word and phrase that is not pulling its weight.
.......For instance, here is an excellent opening paragraph.
But here is what was submitted.
The trick is simply to go through and cross out.





.....LIBYAN ESSAY



The bombing of Libya is a terrorist act.

Here are some theses about this:

If terrorists have the moral right to kill random people in order to catch our attention, we have the right to kill them.

Bombing Libya cannot be a terrorist act if the aim is to restore peace.

Terminating just Qaddafi and his followers, rather than bombing the whole country, is not a terrorist act.

A terrorist act must be reasonable. What is the reason for Libya’s being bombed?

Who exactly is playing the role of terrorist?





....,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.THE ESSAY-WRITING
....,,,,,,,,,,,,,......,,,,.EXAMINATION
....,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
...............................17th May 2011




Answer one of the following in an elegant, charming essay.

.....Remember, first, to read the question with intensity, and think about it intelligently;
.....then, without hurrying, think about possible ways of answering;
.....then develop a thesis, an exact argument;
.....then plan your essay with care;
.....then write it, beautifully.


(And do not start by saying ‘In this essay ....’, or ‘I am going to discuss ....’, or otherwise telling the reader of an essay that he is a reader, and is reading an essay. And do not repeat the question - a parrot can do this; parrots never pass exams.)





1. Think about any one work of literature that you like. What one thing about it would you like to change? Why?

2. Should police officers carry guns on duty? Why or why not?

3. Differences in languages and customs are often a source of misunderstandings or conflicts between peoples. Give examples and say how such differences have been, or could be, resolved.

4. Compare the ways in which some of the authors you have studied make social criticisms.

5. “Travel narrows the mind.” Does it?

6. Appearances are often very different to reality. Discuss this idea with reference to the literary works you have studied

7. The United Nations announces that a comet will strike the earth in three days and obliterate all life. How are you going to spend those three days?

8. “Social engineering is always bound to fail - thank goodness.” Do you agree?

9. To save money, a school has to eliminate one of the following programmes: art, history, or physics. Which one would you cut and why?

10. Give an example of how you would defend the free speech of someone you disagreed with, and give an example of how you would not defend the free speech of someone you disagreed with. Which course of action is morally right? Why?

11. A country discovers mass graves in its soil from a conflict several decades back in history. How should society deal with these crimes? Should it ignore them and move on, or offer a chance for open discussion and reconciliation?

12. Is television a greater threat to civilisation than nuclear bombs?





.....SOME GREAT ESSAYS



Here are examples from some masters of the essay-writing form,
very different from each other but all sill excellent,
with some very brief notes about what makes each so great:

.....G.K. Chesterton
Exuberance, paradox, friendliness, speed, wit, charm, freshness
.....E.M. Forster
Delicate irony, wit, wistfulness, a very light touch
.....H.L. Mencken
Weirdly joyous scorn; a dazzling mixture of learned or even scholarly vocabulary with inventive slang;
a "combative, beautifully sprung, ingeniously funny style, as irresistible as a laughing baby" (Katherine A. Powers)
.....Carl Van Doren
Rather a prissy essay about essays, but some sound points
.....Benjamin Franklin
Sensible, solid, worldly, confident
.....George Orwell
Extremely lucid style, pared down; moral earnestness, candour, immediacy.